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Planning Your Wedding- How to Choose Groomsmen and a Best Man/woman

Updated: Oct 23, 2022

To have a best man or not a best man you would think that this was a simple answer you have your best man done. But as time has gone on this has changed massively from the traditional one-man best man. Nowadays the number of best men have grown. I have been to weddings that had one best man, to weddings that had 12 best men. To it being a lady being the best man.


The tradition of the “best man” is thought to have originated with the Germanic Goths of the 16th century. He was the “best man” for, specifically, the job of stealing the bride from her neighbouring community or disapproving family, and he was probably the best swordsman, too. Essentially, a best man is the groom's go-to guy (or girl, if he is having a woman of honour) and confidant throughout the whole engagement and wedding

So we now know the history of the best best man and the changes the best man has gone through, you know have the decision on who you have and how many you have are completely up to you. When choosing you still need to consider your budget and how much you are willing to spend on outfits with regards to the number of best men/lady you have.

Choosing your best man/woman

The groom usually asks males relatives or close friends to stand as his groomsmen at the wedding. He may also choose to ask the spouse or significant other of one of the bridesmaids if he and his bride spend a lot of time with them as a couple.

The groom can ask his brother, best friend or father to be his best man. It makes no difference whether the best man is single or married. Though the best man may have fewer duties than the maid of honour, his duties are just as important, so think “reliable” and choose your best man wisely. Also the best man can be a woman, if your best friend is a woman.

If you are lucky enough to have two men/women you want as best men/lady, it is perfectly acceptable to give them both the title. Many grooms are close to their fathers but do not know how to honour them as the wedding; having your father stand as one of your best men is a great way to include him in the ceremony. You may also have a hard time deciding between two brothers or friends.

What does the best man/woman do?

Both men may be equally responsible and available, so putting them both in the position works out well. As soon as you can, make sure you clearly define who will be in charge of which tasks. The best man has an assortment of responsibilities before and during the wedding, and he/she should be ready to run any last-minute errands or offer assistance to anyone who needs it at the wedding.

The best man/woman should also keep an eye out for any potential mishaps at the bachelor party, rehearsal dinner and reception. He/she should be prepared to deal with the unexpected and do what he/she can to try to avoid any embarrassing moments for the bride and groom.

Another attendant is the junior groomsman, who is traditionally between the ages of 9 and 14. During the ceremony, he stands at the front of the aisle with the groom; he doesn’t walk down the aisle with the flower girl. The junior groomsman is expected to be at most of the events that the rest of the wedding party attends, but he doesn’t have to participate in or contribute to the bachelor party.

Ushers are typically male, and the distinction between ushers and groomsmen is the fact that ushers sit in the pews during the ceremony instead of standing on the altar with the groom. Many couples choose to have their groomsmen also serve as ushers, but they can be two separate positions.

So, how to choose your best man/woman is completely up to you but main points to consider

  • Consider budget.

  • Your best man can also be a woman.

  • You can choose a friend or a relative.

  • You can have as many as you want.

Would like to discuss more further or discuss any other aspect of wedding planning do not hesitate to contact me 07445276667 or

You can also visit my site

Hope you enjoyed the read

Emma Louise x

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